Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . Onion News Network The tech world is buzzing over Apple’s latest must-have gadget, the Mac Book Wheel. A revolutionary new laptop that does away with the keyboard. Tech Trends reporter, Jeff Tate has more. Thanks, Andrea. Say goodbye to the keyboard and hello to the future of laptop computers. With the MacBook Wheel, Apple has replaced the traditional keyboard with a sleek, touch sensitive click wheel. Apple CEO Steve Jobs introduced the product yesterday at the annual Mac Expo. Senior product innovator, Brian Gilman, says the MacBook Wheel will make typing a thing of the past. At Apple, our philosophy is create products that are simple to use. And nothing’s more simple than a single giant button. Gilman showed me how the revolutionary new computer works. Just open the Into Type Alphabet menu here. Scroll to the letter you need, see? and center click to select it. Then click again to capitalize and repeat this process for each new letter. It couldn’t be simpler. -Oh. You can also let the predictive sentence technology complete the sentence for you. Gilman says the MacBook Wheel has also simplified the organization of files, so searching your hard drive will be a snap. Just press both sides of the wheel concurrently, center click, and there, you have an alphabetical listing of every file on your hard drive. Everything is just a few hundred clicks away. Apple is calling the MacBook Wheel the most intuitive product ever designed. Here at Apple we like to think that we’re giving customers features they don’t even realize they want yet. While the MacBook Wheel won’t hit the shelves for another 3 to 15 months, many Apple users already have it on their wish list. I’ll buy almost anything if it’s shiny and made by Apple. Alex Zalban was one of the lucky few to get to try out a MacWheel and spent 45 minutes typing an email to his friend. I never really realized how much I hated keyboards until I saw this thing. I like how the Email automatically says, sent from a MacBook Wheel. That way people know you have one. With a price tag of just under $2,600 for the lowest end MacBook Wheel, it is an investment. But, the super thin laptop features numerous innovations like the new ultra-tin Hummingbird Battery, which can power the MacBook Wheel for a full 19 minutes, before needing to be recharged. And the computer is virtually unbreakable unless dropped or hit. But Apple isn’t resting on its laurels. Brian Gilman said they are already hard at work at the next generation of the MacBook Wheel, which will be 4 ounces lighter, due to its lack of screen hard driver wheel. For the Onion News Network, I’m Jeff Tate. Thank you for that, Jeff. It remains to be seen if the wheel will catch on in the business world, where people use computers for actual work, and not just dicking around. Moving on, police warn that the Sudoku killer will kill either 1,4 or 9 victims next. Mother at Fault For Stillborn Baby, Reports Recurring Nightmare . . . . . . . . . . . .
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30 thoughts on “Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

  1. Cut to current day. Apple has gotten rid of both the home button and headphone jack on the newest iPhone. This is no longer a joke.

  2. I remember watching this many years ago thinking it was real 🤦‍♂️ and oh boy did I rationalize it in my head at the time lol

  3. Im getting the new iPhone the one where there isnt a touchscreen where u need to talk to it and Hope it understands call mom and not Allahu akbar where it then self destructs

  4. 😭you can't tell whether I'm laughing at or deadly angry at some illegal creepers/hackers/voodooers with my relatively brand new, less than 6 months old South Korean brand Dicle laptop with an occasionally not-typing partial keyboard

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