GTA V – che tipo di gamer sei?


Hi guys, hi everyone, i’m Zeb89 Finally… finally here we are, it’s missing very little time now In about 15 days, a little more than two weeks Finally GTA 5 is coming on PC! What? You don’t give a shit about that? What are you saying?You are saying that you’ve already played it? That you know everything? That you don’t give a fuck about it anymore? HOLY MOTHER BUT IT’S OBVIOUS! For you it’s obvious because YOU – ARE -DISGUSTING You are a S-H-I-T In the literal sense, understood? You’ve already played it for 600-700 hours, you’ve completed all the missions 3-4 times You completed all the possible endings of the game You’ve found the easter eggs, you’ve listened carefully to all the dialogues of the game And you know everything! For you GTA 5 has no more secrets Because you have a console at home, you piece of shit! You piece of shit, holy mother With the console under the plasma TV 64′, you bag of shit! Holy mother, what a faggot Today I am here to list the types of GTA 5 player i’ve seen so far Are we ready to start, guys? You shouldn’t laugh because I am going to talk about you, ABOUT YOU HOLY MOTHER YOU FUCKING CHILD *imitating a child* YES! BECAUSE YOU ARE A SHIT If the videogames come out later on PC, it’s not because the stock exchange follows a logical thread and then … NO! IT’S YOUR FAULT This is the last video I can do about this topic because now the game it’s almost out in the stores But holy shit, i want that you understand that this fucking delay happened because of you, fucking console users, you are shits, S-H-I-T-S FERMENTED SHITS , MANURE, FILTH You shouldn’t even exist You must be shells full of shit to play GTA 5 on consoles With that lousy autoaim All facilitated like a tramp, with 2 trees instead of 100 because the console is too weak *heavy breathin* The first cathegory of gamer of GTA 5 is: The TRAMP Poor tramp, he is so unlucky, he doesn’t work because he’s 13 years, at that age what kind of job could you have? Go to school, with the hump on the books like this, writing and getting bored He can’t afford absolutely anything, he takes at most 20€ at the end of the week as pocket money,virtually nothing He has that xbox 360 which miraculously hasn’t broken itself yet Staying there in the corner from 2006 still playin’ some shitty game And so he’s satisfied, and buys the game at the day one, on the 17th september of 2013 Because his mother is like: “If i have some money i spend them for myself, some cute dress you know? I don’t give a shit about your games” Then there’s his dad watching the football match: “I don’t really give a single shit, i pay the TV subscription, i want to see the ball getting into the door” *freaking out* He doesn’t give a shit if the son plays or not So the tramp remain in the corner like: “Ok, i’m gonna buy gta 5 with 2 trees and low-definition textures because in the end i’m still very lucky i can play it” That’s the tramp… so the tramp deserves all our sympathy The 2nd cathegory is… are you ready? The spoiled child! But more spolied than the normal, one of that only-childs like: “mommy i want that thi”…”SURE” “I’ll pay whatever you want, you just have to shut up “I’ll give you candies, the most expensive school diary, all the branded clothes, the Dolce&Gabbana belt “low pants with the ass showing and the hair crest” What does the spoiled child have in his bedroom? Pay attention, in his bedroom, not in the living room He has A 96′ TV, the ones you can’t even see the border, just enormous And under that TV he has all the existing and even non-existing consoles He has the PS3, the old XBOX, the XBOX ONE and the PS4 One beside the other And you know what the great thing is? It’s that he, for having everything he has he haven’t paid a penny Why? Because he’s a spoiled child He bought the old-gen version on the 17th september 2013, but not only that On the 18th november 2014: “Mom i want that, i already have the old one but i also want the new one because they added animals and other shit” “Yeah sure take it, i buy you whatever you want, now shut up” He doesn’t give a shit about the PC version He’s happy with the next-gen version, where he goes on GTA-online shooting with the autoaim *imitating the child* “I’m so skilled, do you want to be in a gang with me?” With their spoiled friends Guys, we’ve arrived to the 3rd kind of player This one is… oh god it just stinks The third type is: the son of tycoons Do you know that guy who doesn’t just have all, he has all and more He has the motorbike, the quad, the swimming pool, he has the computer But not just a normal PC, a good pc costing 1500€, NO! A 3600€ PC with liquid cooling, all those strange tubes, the 200€ case with headlights and neon lights the brand keyboard, all expensive, theheadphones which are larger of his head because so he can feel pro just proud So, this bag of shit who has all and never worked in his life Has the old-gen version The next gen version And will buy the PC version He has all And this cathegory is the most loved by RockStarGames Because it performs 3 purchases If you buy the same fucking game 3 times you are a imbecile We could consider him an imbecile but he’s not so stupid because he spends other people’s money The banknote he has in his hands doensn’t belong to him How it feels to spend other people’s money? How it feels to have in your hand those 50 € you haven’t earned ny yourself and have been given you by your mom? Really guys, tell me, how does it feel to be a bag of grime tied with wire in the corner? How does it feels like, Holy mother? And so yeah this one buys 3 articles with his parent’s money But the sad reality for him it’s that despite all the money he will always remain and imbecile The 4th type of GTA 5 gamer is: The PC Nerd He managed to assemble a PC and thinks he’s like me: ” I’m like Zeb89, the consoles are shit but not because it’s my opinion, i think it just because Zeb89 says it not because i share my opinion with him, he could even say “Ass shit”and i would agree because i have to be a clone of him” His problem is that he would like to be like me but it’s not like me I’ll explain you why The PC nerd had spoilered himself all the informations yet Because as he is a lousy child with mucus dripping from his nose He went to YouTube and watched all the videos on all the GTA 5 missions from the first to the least He knows all the endings Hell, he could even repeat all the dialogues of the entire game He can’t just wait He says: ” No, it’s true, i don’t have consoles because i’m like Zeb89 But “I have to watch gameplays, i have to know who dies, who stay alive” He even went to the wiki, he knows everything Basically he’s a console gamer pretending he’s not a console gamer Come on, just go to buy a console and don’t break my balls We all know that children don’t know how to wait It’s like putting a big present under the christmas tree and telling to the kids not to open it until the day after And then you go out of the room Let’s guess what the kid will do So the PC Nerds go searching so many infos That they could even tell you how many hairs in the ass Trevor has they came to nauseating levels The second-last cathegory of GTA 5 gamer is: The Retarded Nerd The Retarded Nerd has the new-gen console, an XBOXONE or a PS4 And also a 1600€ PC, a good PC able to run any modern game So, this particular cathegory is the one i would slap in the face like a drum until i get bored The worst of the worse oily, just O-I-L-Y It’s not possible The Retarded Nerd What does he do? He knows that the game will be released soon for the next-gen version But he doesn’t wait two months to get the definitive and most accurate version for PC NO! Despite having a powerful PC, what does he do? Buys the game for the next-gen ONLY because he can’t wait two fucking months Holy mother, to be punched agaist the wall dear god Who the fuck gives you the money? “Two months? Nah i have a console i don’t want to wait, let’s buy it two times” *with childish voice* “I was reading RockstarGame’s site and i saw the news… Two months? I can’t wait two months I want it now A powerful PC? Yeah but i will buy it after on Steam and now i’ll buy it for the next gen” *freaking out again* Can you tell me what’s inside your head? I bet there is nothing Go fuck yourself I hope I’ve transmitted you what I think and feel About the people who bought GTA 5 during this time And in conclusion the last cathegory is the Zeb89 cathegory Now silence please, silence Now everyone in the comments will say “I’m in the Zeb89 cathegory” Yeeeeah yeah sure, go on, you rat You are a shit, you’ve bought the game You’ve already played it at your friend’s house You know everything about it , shut up! The Zeb89 cathegory is simply the one who didn’t want to know anything until the relase date for PC Yeah, he has documented at least to see how the gameplay was To see what the highlights of the games are but he doesn’t know the story, doesn’t know how it ends The Zeb89 cathegory will just enjoy the game for the first time on PC The 27th of January 2015 Guys, please write in the comments what cathegory you belong to Honestly And we’ll see again in the next video

93 thoughts on “GTA V – che tipo di gamer sei?

  1. Fai cagare
    Sei proprio una persona di merda
    Non sai fare un cazzo
    Credi di essere simpatico ma noi ridiamo DI te non CON te

    FAI SCHIFO
    SEI LA PERSONA PIÙ ODIOSA CHE ABBIA MAI VISTO

    Edit mentre sto guardando il video

    8:12 NO NESSUNO E RIPETO NESSUNO VUOLE ESSERE UN COGLIONE PEZZO DI MERDA COME TE

  2. Zeb io sarò in 1° superiore e dopo un paio di anni di scuola ho la possibilità di comprarmi un nuovo pc che dovrò usare per scuola visto che faccio sistema informatico aziendale

  3. Appartengo alla categoria ho provato una volta il gioco da un mio amico mi è piaciuto poco pk tanto avevo visto tanti game play che mi è passata la voglia

  4. Io credo di essere la categoria nerd MA io non mi spoilero proprio tutto e gioco su ps 4 e vorrei provare su PC ma solo per gusto,non perché ci giochi tu,caro Zeb89,comunque bel video e,niente.

  5. Ok zeb io ti seguo da sempre ma non capisco come si possa pensare che un ragazzo di 12,13 anni possa guadagnarsi soldi

  6. Io appartengo alla categoria Me Stesso: Dopo 4 anni e mezzo dall'uscita di GTA V su PC, non l'ho ancora da prendere ma piuttosto gioco ad Unreal Tournament 4, endless fun!

  7. Io appartengo alla categoria "il figlio dei ricconi" però non proprio perché sì ho un pc e tutto però anche io ho fatto la mia parte..

  8. Zeb una cosa
    Non solo tu pensi che le console fanno schifo.
    Esistono le opinioni non sei così al centro dell'universo

  9. 10:55 la mia reazione quando ho visto i bambini di 5/6 anni giocare a fortnite o avere lo smartphone fiero in mano

  10. Innanzitutto se uno ha una console e vuole a giocare ad un gioco, in questo caso GTA V, CAZZI SUOI, no? Non puoi insultare uno solo perché ha voluto giocare a qualcosa di figo sulla sua PlayStation 4

  11. il mio tipo? io sarei sinceramente di più uno che manco non sapeva che esisteva sto gioco fino a che non lo ha visto ai saldi su steam xD

  12. Io stavo leggendo il sito di rockstargames , stavo leggendo la loro pagina facebook , ho viste le novità , 2 mesi ?! Io non possoh aspettare due mesi ! Subito ! No, si ho un pc potente tanto poi lo prenderò su steam dopo , lo prendo anche per next gen. MADONNA MADONNA RAGAZZIH

  13. Sarei in categoria nerd ritardato ma gta l’ho preso per pc e poi me lo regalarono per ps4 (e non me lo sono spoilerato)

  14. POI SCELPAPÀ DAVANTI LA PARTITA… "MA A ME NON ME NE FREGA PROPRIO UN GAZO. IO PAGO L'ABBONAMENTO VOGLIO VEDER PALLONE CH'ENTRA MPORTA EEEEEOOOOOOO EEEEEOOOOOOO EOOOOOOOOO EEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

  15. Io appartengo a quella categoria che lavora, guadagna i suoi 100 eurini, e si compra panni e scarpe ed anche un piccolo gioco per XBOX 360. Zeb la generazione di oggi fa schifo rassegnati.

  16. È leeeezzo! Zeb personaggione. Un mito di YouTube Italia… Come processore mi son comprato.. Eh volevi? Questo video dimostra l'intelligenza, il sarcasmo, l'ironia a livelli altissimi che Zeb ha… È talentuoso nelle sue critiche contro la generazione z. Anche le voci quando imita i bambini sono uguali. È geniale Zeb. Un vero portento. Ti vogliamo bene Zeb. Continua a essere contro gli omosessuali come Giuseppe Simone. Ognuno ha le sue opinioni ecchecavolo!

  17. Oltre a tornare per gustarmi questa perla vi racconto la mia esperienza con tutte e 3 le versioni per quanto riguarda l'online che è la cosa principale:
    PS3 è stata fantastica, sessioni dominate da italiani, crew war e constanti battaglie in freemode, purtroppo è stata fermata al Crimine paga Parte 2 e ciò ha portato molti ad abbandonarla.
    PS4 pochi italiani, molti bm con l'oppressor MK2 e poca competizione in sessione.
    PC la peggiore a mio parere, costanti modder in sessione, totalità di persone che non sanno giocare, comandi con mouse e tastiera (che dovrebbero essere di norma migliori) penosi, attaccando il controller poco cambia perché la ruota delle armi si bugga se vuoi spammare.

  18. Io sono di categoria 4:) visto che non me ne fotte nulla di giocare su pc pur avendolo ovviamente,io gioco su console fisso il pc lo uso per altre mille robe ma non per giocarci dalla mattina alla sera,quello lo faccio con le mie ps4;)

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