Revealing my big secret… IM. A. GAMER.


*Shakes Bottle* oooooooof *SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE* *Glug Glug GLug GLug* Aa Hh Hh Hh (Pewdiepie sellout) I’ve been getting a bunch of hate comments And i would be lying if i said it doesn’t hurt me But sometimes enough is ENOUGH People DARE online question, saying Oh, “he doesn’t really play video games anymore” Oh “he’s not really a GAMER anymore” Oh EXCUSEME You think I’m not a gamer? PewDiePie The BIGGEST gaming channel on YouTube Oh I’m Not A Gamer I’m Such A Gamer Then why do I have a G-Fuel sponsorship? (sellout) Then why do I have this gaming chair? That can in fact do a lot of things (like this) Why do I have these gaming headphones? Why do I have these gamer muscles (flexes stupidly) if I wasn’t a GAMER Oh, it’s because I don’t dress like a gamer Well, I’ll have you know I have quite the TASTE for gamer fashion (no you don’t you wear white t-shirts) Ok Here’s some of my favorite gaming outfits (here we go) and maybe you could learn a thing or two. if you pay attention NO MOM I CAN’T PAUSE FORTNITE (every nine year old) THAT’S a shirt that says I like VIDEO GAMES and also I like Fortnite (aka this stupid game with toxic nine year olds infected by Epic Games) and ALSO Mom, I CAN’T PAUSE IN FORTNITE !? *random noise that Brad probably put in to make us disgusted at Felix* What is this measley Youtuber merch My brain is 90%… GAMING ! ! ! TACTICS ! ! ! and 10%… *shrug* random stuff (just read the shirt I’m too lazy to caption) I have not seen a more gaming-worthy t-shirt in my life *such amazing design* I don’t leave the house, unless I tell people about my CORE (hand motion) MESSAGE (hand motion) (Felix reads the shirt of all nine-year olds) OH i’M SORRY! I WASN’T LISTENING I was thinking about GAMER TACTICS (PewDiePie wearing a shirt) Oh if you are reading this. I’ll have you know I was forced to put my controller down into society. Society. What even if the society. Huh. Has anyone ever thought of that. I really really would recommend these ones. I especially like how the print just ends in the middle of the shirt these full cover the. Shirts. They’re very epic. Especially the one with the hand typefaces. Some people would go for the hand typefaces. I’m more of a fortnight all over kind of guy. Yeah I’m a gamer. Good at making extremely hot girls. Now this is what gaming is all about. Some say there’s females other CS their males. I see there’s only one gender Gap. What is this. Too many video games ruined my life. Lucky I have two more because I’m a gamer. For. The best thing about a gamer is that I don’t age. Just level up. Well taking it to next level. Born to Play fortnight forced to go to school. I’ll take 10. I’m a gamer not because I don’t have life but because I choose to have many. Wait someone photoshop. I’m a gamer not because I have don’t have life but because I hate. This kind of toxic gaming attitude that makes me sad to be a gamer. If I can identify my entire existence through a hobby that literally everyone takes part in then who am I. Who am I supposed to be. Hey snowflakes I should wear this shirt. Who buys these shirts. I know I do because I’m a gamer. Gamers don’t die. They respawn How many ensures that a buy DO NOT DISTURB gaming mode. Well this one isn’t too bad. Hey Brad you can wear this one. What the hell. Who sells this. This is not gamer approved. I do not approve of this. I am a gamer not because I don’t have life but because I hate what is state. Stop. Stop this horrible message. Warning I have led my major league man. Ha ha ha ha. Oh I got it I got it. Born to be a gamer. Forced to go to school. I’m a born ass gamer. The reflexes I can reacting. Zero point one millisecond. You know what they told me my entire life. Oh well you play video games. It’s never gonna get you pussy. It’s never gonna get you money. Oh well I’m slamming out both. Bro I’m slamming on both game and get so much heat. I’m all about the gamer love. Why did I buy this. Not even gamer. If you’re a gamer say it with me loud and clear. EAT SLEEP GAME(R) REPEAT!! EAT SLEEP GAME REPEAT !!!! EAT SLEEP GAME REPEAT *does floss* !!!!!!!! I play Fortnite 6 thosand billion years I can’t read that upside down but i’m sure its gaming related I don’t think i’ve ever felt this powerful Who needs a GiRlFrIeNd when I can make a HATSUNE touch my oCuLuS rIfT YES that one please Yes, I am gay furry and if you ask nicely *burp* (smh gross Felix) I paused my game to be here Literally i have minecraft paws RIGHT NOW some might say my outfit is a bit over the top It’s color coordinated baby It doesn’t get better than this I literally can’t sweat through my armpits because nothing can leave my body remember when it wasnt cool to play video games and you had to be secret about it I went outside once the graphics are not that great Have you seen the graphics in the new league of leagends patch what the hell where can i buy that I actually want that Unless my tshirt says Hashtag GAMER and takes up half the- lol then i’m NOT that interested Yes I like video games NO i WONT date you We are rare attractive men that like video games we are *Rare* women wants to take over us they wanna abuse us for our skills in gamings but we’re smarter than that DUDE! DUDE! DUDE! DUDE! I logged out for THIS? That’s me and basically any scenario. My mom’s dying where it’s her funeral. She’s dying at her funeral. Dude I logged out for this mom. I hope I’m making myself clear here. I’m not playing around. This is not some kind of video game. I mean it is spent. This is not some sort of game Gamer. People need to know it Even if I can’t breathe. And what does is what I see. I don’t have birthdays. I love have. God dammit you know I’m a gamer because I never stopped giving up I never don’t give up. You mean it’s in my DNA. Does anyone want to challenge me in a wonder he won rust any time of either. Does. CBS come straight. One point six. I’ll go one be five if I have to. If there was one game or merch to rule the mall it’s thing in a million club merch available right now! REPRESENT dot com slash PewDiePie Now I just typed That ASIS type merch. You see this. If this doesn’t make you convince you to finally buy that emerge I think. Thinking about and I guess nothing is gonna come in SWAGGER of a girl gamer I guess girl gamers can have swagger too what can i say, i’ve learnt some people have been telling me like dude girls can be gamers too and im like nAh Man that aint iT That’s Impossible But i’ve been educating myself I wanna be clear here Don’t PISS me off I’m close to leveling up and securing the existence of our people and- what the fack God DAMMIT! NO Gamers make better lovers We press the Right buttons Never have *** with someone impressive press you ever done that. You haven’t because you’re a gamer. That’s right. We don’t have now pounded pounded. If you’re a gamer not a god damn it I say with me. I’m an okay guys. This is my coming out video. I know now that I have no reason to be afraid. I have no reason to be ashamed of who I am. I have no reason to pretend that I’m not I’m proud my name is Felix Kjellberg and I am proud to say I’m a gamer. I am proud to say enter the code PewDiePie to get you G-fuel Your game or through fuel. 30 percent off. For those epic moments in video games. I had some of my best times in my life while drinking G-fuel. I lost my virginity while drinking. Fuel. I got my first victory at Rialto while drinking cheap fuel. You don’t understand the power of a gamer. How long can it drag out this joke. I don’t know but it’s going our way to book.

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